Everyday we meet a lot of new people. Some are rude, some humble and some you just don’t want to move away from. There are times when a person just can’t find the right words or make the first move just because they are too afraid to being rejected. For everything that’s worth having requires a lot of effort and practice. So backing out before you even start a conversation with a girl is stupendous.
So here are some tips that will make it very easy to strike up a conversation with a girl you are attracted to:
You spend most of your life in public with roughly 90% of your body clothed. So being able to understand the message behind your clothes – and controlling it is a social skill you ought to master. Strangers will more likely engage with you if you’re dressed to impress.
And its all in the little details, also figure out how to use small accessories or accent pieces to your advantage:
- Classic hats
- Neckties with unique knots
- Pocket squares
- Jewelry & dress watches
- Dress shoes & dress boots
- Colognes or other types of fragrances
A lot can be said about a guy who can confidently take the lead and introduce himself. To pull off a nice introduction:
- Stand with your shoulders back
- Keep your legs at shoulder-width
- Keep your hands out of your pockets
- Avoid self-soothing gestures like touching your face or stomach
But whenever you introduce yourself, never approach people from behind. Especially women! That can startle or surprise them – and you’ll risk coming off as creepy or sneaky.
3| Accept The Risk Of Rejection
There will be times you nail the first impression through your introduction. And there might be times it doesn’t go well. But that’s okay!
Sure enough, there are certain signals that a woman is quite interested in a guy she just met. You may notice those signals in minutes or even before you actually approach her!
But there’s also a chance that when you approach her, she’ll be annoyed at you since she’s busy or meeting with someone else. Or she will imply those things using curt answers or “closed” body gestures. In those cases, be the gentleman you are and apologize. Then walk away but also hold your head up high! At the end of the day, people can’t deny the courage you had to do what you just did.
4| Know Their Name
Don’t underestimate the value of knowing people’s names and repeating them during conversation every now and then.
This will make them comfortable and you will be heading to next step very easily.
It’s double the power when you can smile and assume that the person already likes you. Pretending they’re a good friend who’s glad to see you and wants to catch up.
This attitude helps you loosen up and shake off nerves or tightness that you might be feeling initially.
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6| Ask Simple Questions
Keep a balance between talking about stuff and asking stuff. Start with basic, light questions about the weather, how their day was or other trivial facts about them.
And do give some nods or quick comments like “I see” or “Interesting” now and then. Those little actions prove that you’re giving the other person their due respect while speaking.
If it’s a woman you might want to date you can actually let her do most of the talking since it’s not technically a date. The two of you just met by chance. So give her the spotlight to feel like she can be herself while discussing her life. It’ll set the mood well if you do ask her out in the end.
7| Listen & Ask
Many people aren’t comfortable with speaking continuously in front of someone else.
So you need to toss in some good, open-ended questions that pick up on what they’ve been discussing. That will reassure them that they’re not going overboard or acting self-obsessed. Use a confident, authoritative voice when you ask those questions.
That’s how you make her more comfortable in your presence. It’s one of the ways you can send your own availability signals. And it shows that you see her as a genuinely interesting person and not just some hot chick to spend the night with.
8| Field Questions
When it’s your turn to answer questions, do it with conviction and honesty but also with some level of political correctness. It’s good to stand up for your own views and opinions as long as you respect those of the other person.
And avoid any answer that takes longer than two minutes.
9| Determine If You Want To Follow-Up
At some point, you should decide whether to get that person’s contact info. If it’s a personal contact, wait until the end of the conversation after seeing how well you hit it off.
10| Know When To End
Many good things have to come to an end and that includes great conversations. When wrapping up a conversation, you can ask for their card or contact details followed by saying “It was nice meeting you.”
If it’s a woman you’re planning to ask on a date, you definitely need your most charming, sexiest voice and end with something like “I’ll call you.” Smile and make eye contact for a few seconds after doing so.
Here are Some Conversation starters from Aaron Marino.